Freestylin\\\’

Today I went on a walk with my boyfriend and our son. My boyfriend was wearing our son in a Baby Hawk carrier, which is an awesome carrier, by the way — I highly recommend it for parents of newborns to encourage bonding and safety. They are awesome.

During our walk, I had an intense craving for one of my favorite staples from back when I was a single girl — a good pile of nachos. I even still had the bar’s phone number programmed into my cell! We walked over to the bar, and I went inside to wait for my snack, to go. An old friend of mine was sitting by the window with some friends. I waved, but did not approach him. It made me remember a time when we used to go out to hip hop night, smoke cigarettes and read the paper together at the cafe, down $1 bottles of PBR… now his girlfriend probably doesn’t even know my name.

I don’t really long for those times, probably the only thing I really miss are the great bar conversations with friends about dating. I also had some pretty bad times. Much had to do with the horrible and hilarious ways men would try to pick up me or my friends. The most common thing were men who either had an Asian fetish for women, or men who wanted to indulge in Asian stereotypes. It got to the point where we no longer blew off the guys who would ask whether or not we were Japanese or born in America. One Halloween we actually laughed in a guys face and explained to him the error of his ways. We actually talked about his perception of Asian women and submission in relationships.

Another common theme was my celebrity-hood thanks to my cool and coveted job as an indie video store clerk at the It cool indie video store. Guys would come up to me saying they “knew” me because I worked at the video store, could I please delete their late fees?

Guys who didn’t take rejection well were scary. Some would be way to aggressive. If you ask for a girl’s number, and she says “no, thanks” or she’ll probably just “see you around town”, that’s rejection, honey. That’s what happened to one of my friends. Then he was a condescending prick about it.

The other annoying thing that guys would do was butter up the best friend to get to the girl. That only works if you know the friend already. It is really lame if you don’t. This happened to me once, a guy was talking to me because he was interested in my best friend. I told him the way to get her attention was to buy her a drink. I even told him what kind. “A vodka tonic,” I said. But did he listen to me? No. He just said my advice was cheesy! Um, hello. Women talk non-stop about dating to each other and the ways in which we’d want to be approached. If you’re going to dis the advice of a girl’s friend — then you’re a complete idiot!

Buying a woman a non-obligatory drink at a bar is really classy. It’s the common thing that all my girlfriends have said is a great approach. Granted, it doesn’t always work, but it’s never a bad thing to do unless you feel some sort of entitlement. The best way to do this is approach the woman — if she’s with friends, buy wine for the table. Or just buy her next drink. Whatever, don’t be creepy or foreful about it. It’s by far the best approach among strangers.

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