Freestylin\\\’

Long distance relationships… how do you survive? I’ve got quite a few friends in the same boat I’m in. Our honey bunches lives not in the same area code.

1.) Me? My great love (and father of my baby boy) is a business consultant who communtes out of the state — hell, out of the time zone! He is gone four days out of the week and spends the weekend at home.

2.) CB has what my friend Justin would call a transatlantic booty call. That is an inaccuracy, however, because she is in a very committed relationship with LA while she is in NYC.

3.) PS is living in Kansas City while her poo bear is teaching in Colombia for the next year and a half.

4.) JC is a doctor in Arizona while her man is a Navy sailor over near Chapel Hill.

5.) MC is having fun studying abroad in Budapest while the love of her life lives in Barcelona.

What we all have in common is that we are not only doin’ lovin’ long distance, but we are all in long term monogamous relationships as well. Is it easy? No. What’s the secret? Well, I hate to break it to ya, but it’s not just love that keeps these ships a sailin’, because I’ve definitely seen some breakups even though the two love each other. The main thing is communication.

You have to communicate. You have to keep in touch and be honest. You have to call and write and have video conferencing if possible. If it’s not possible you have to at least send an email. You have to call during important days. You have to manage to visit each other. It gives something to look forward to and plan for instead of having this very stressful gap before you can see each other. Even if it is several months away, make sure you save money to see each other if you can. And when you do see each other, make sure you have time for just the two of you. Yes it is fun to explore a new city or even country, but make sure you have time to yourselves in bed.

You have to be honest. You cannot have an affair that the other person does not know about because that is completely disrespectful. It is very easy to have an affair but it is pretty much an asshole move. You have to be committed to the hard work it is going to take to make this flourish. At the same time you have to accept it if it is just not in your heart. If you no longer want to be in the relationship and it is truly over, do not string the other person along and break things off.

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