Freestylin\\\’

I went with my boyfriend to watch the new Sex and the City movie. When the movie let out, I took a look at who was exiting the theater with us, and was slightly surprised to see a few men among the crowd.

I wasn’t really disappointed in the movie, although my boyfriend and I were disappointed in Miranda’s comment about following “the white guy” with the baby because that’s where she wanted to live — where the white guy with a baby was living.

The fashion was hot, New York was hot, Big’s full name is John James Preston! The movie was fine, but later we went to watch the Pistons game where they lost. The guy sitting next to my boyfriend saw his Sex and the City movie ticket. Funny!

Today I went on a walk with my boyfriend and our son. My boyfriend was wearing our son in a Baby Hawk carrier, which is an awesome carrier, by the way — I highly recommend it for parents of newborns to encourage bonding and safety. They are awesome.

During our walk, I had an intense craving for one of my favorite staples from back when I was a single girl — a good pile of nachos. I even still had the bar’s phone number programmed into my cell! We walked over to the bar, and I went inside to wait for my snack, to go. An old friend of mine was sitting by the window with some friends. I waved, but did not approach him. It made me remember a time when we used to go out to hip hop night, smoke cigarettes and read the paper together at the cafe, down $1 bottles of PBR… now his girlfriend probably doesn’t even know my name.

I don’t really long for those times, probably the only thing I really miss are the great bar conversations with friends about dating. I also had some pretty bad times. Much had to do with the horrible and hilarious ways men would try to pick up me or my friends. The most common thing were men who either had an Asian fetish for women, or men who wanted to indulge in Asian stereotypes. It got to the point where we no longer blew off the guys who would ask whether or not we were Japanese or born in America. One Halloween we actually laughed in a guys face and explained to him the error of his ways. We actually talked about his perception of Asian women and submission in relationships.

Another common theme was my celebrity-hood thanks to my cool and coveted job as an indie video store clerk at the It cool indie video store. Guys would come up to me saying they “knew” me because I worked at the video store, could I please delete their late fees?

Guys who didn’t take rejection well were scary. Some would be way to aggressive. If you ask for a girl’s number, and she says “no, thanks” or she’ll probably just “see you around town”, that’s rejection, honey. That’s what happened to one of my friends. Then he was a condescending prick about it.

The other annoying thing that guys would do was butter up the best friend to get to the girl. That only works if you know the friend already. It is really lame if you don’t. This happened to me once, a guy was talking to me because he was interested in my best friend. I told him the way to get her attention was to buy her a drink. I even told him what kind. “A vodka tonic,” I said. But did he listen to me? No. He just said my advice was cheesy! Um, hello. Women talk non-stop about dating to each other and the ways in which we’d want to be approached. If you’re going to dis the advice of a girl’s friend — then you’re a complete idiot!

Buying a woman a non-obligatory drink at a bar is really classy. It’s the common thing that all my girlfriends have said is a great approach. Granted, it doesn’t always work, but it’s never a bad thing to do unless you feel some sort of entitlement. The best way to do this is approach the woman — if she’s with friends, buy wine for the table. Or just buy her next drink. Whatever, don’t be creepy or foreful about it. It’s by far the best approach among strangers.

Ok, ok, ok.

I’m a huge pack rat. It’s not something that’s very flattering because I think it is linked to people who are overly sentimental and have separation deficiencies. The thing is, since I was very, very little, I have always wanted to be a writer — which I am not quite. I mean, I write, and I’ve been published, but that’s not really what my goal is. In kindergarten, I was even on NPR reading a story I wrote.

I’ve always wanted to be a columnist or writer for a fashion magazine. Or, since I’m older now, a lifestyle OR fashion magazine. I have archives and archives of magazines. But I also have archives upon archives of pieces of my life. To me, all my objects that I’ve collected tell a story. Like, I look up and I see two porcelain angels. They are separate, but the are both poised to kiss each other and you can make them make out. I’ve had these since childhood and remember looking at them when being forced to recite prayers every night, which reminds me of my struggles growing up Catholic without any choice.

My point is… writing, magazines… dream place is NYC. I imagine it to have stories upon stories around every corner. In fact, there is a historic hip hop album called 8 million stories, and it’s about New York City, and that’s where I wish I was living now. It’s my own fault I don’t live there. Upon the years I’ve procrastinated because I feared change, and I feared being away from my mother in case she died and regretting being so far away, but I see her like once every two months anyway.

Instead, I dated a man who lived in NYC, then we had a baby together. So instead of me moving to NYC, he moved here. So we’re both stuck here. But how I ache and long for it. Every time I’ve visited there I’ve felt happier than I have ever felt in my life, with the exception of certain moments with my son.

I love Detroit — Detroit Pistons, Detroit architecture, Detroit history…

What’s the most fashionable way to celebrate this?

Detroit indie business T-shirts. I got my first one today and I love it. It’s for the Honey Bee Market in Mexicantown. This is a really great way to support local businesses, especially in Detroit where the economy isn’t doing so hot. I’m usually not into being a walking billboard for a place, but that only applies to Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger.

When I was in Asian Village, my T-shirt got some attention from a waitress.

One ok city I’ve been to is Pittsburgh. It’s not interesting in the way NYC is interesting, or Manila is interesting. It’s interesting because when you drive in, it looks like you are entering Mexico City with rolling hills and houses sprinkled on top like architectural confetti. Where does someone shop and hang out when the streets are like mountainous labyrinths that are almost impossible to navigate?

The guy I’m dating went to Pittsburgh for college, so I thought I’d ask him a few questions about fashion and fun.

The first stop may be Shadyside and Walnut St. which offers boutiques and some high end shops. Very good thrifting exists in the city as well. Blue and Gold is a good place to try, and is towards the oldest amusement park called Kennywood — which happens to be the oldest in the nation. There is also a very nice thrift shop next to the gay bar and the Italian restaurant in South Oakland. It’s very small. There are also some clothing shops around Forbes Avenue that one should check out.

I asked him about women’s fashion in Pittsburgh, and he told me that Pittsburgher women wear Steelers jerseys. Pittsburgh Steelers is one of the few NFL franchises to directly market clothing to women by carryinig items like fitted pink T-shirts.

For a good time, try the Brillo Box and deep South O(akland). Read: Uncle Jimmy’s, etc. This is off the strip and away from the stupid frat boy bars. Gooski’s is the best dive bar in the city. It has the best non hip hop jukebox. Shadow Lounge is a good venue for hip hop shows because of the intimate setting to see a show in and the diverse local crowd. Pittsburgh can be a really segregated place, and Shadow Lounge isn’t usually like that. Also, try Kelly’s — it’s a bar somewhere in the east end. It has a sort of faux modern 50’s decor and good cocktails. They make a decent martini.

Mt. Washington is a great place to get dressed up and go to enjoy a view of the city — it is panoramic. “The best view is at night, where you can watch a surprisingly beautiful skyline surrounded by the Three Rivers from up high,” my boyfriend says.

A great first date spot is Phipp’s conservatory because it is a relaxing and comfortable place and you can decided whether you want to date again because you are forced to talk among all the beautiful flowers. Looking for lovin’? Playboy magazine says that the fourth floor of Pitt’s Hillman Library is the best place to have sex in. There are lots of bookstacks and secluded little rooms and a stairwell.

Beautiful Colitis

In college, my best friend had a roommate who was about as vain as a varicose. She was a model, and because she was compared once to Laeticia Casta, she really milked that compliment and acted like she was the shit. And she was the shit, literally. She suffered from colitis. I didn’t know what colitis was until I met this girl.

I also didn’t like her very much because she could be such an unlikable snob! She’d made some comment about this great find I had — a pinkish/purple suede trench with a rabbit fur detachable collar — and how it wasn’t cool because I got it off of the discount rack!

My friend who was pre-med at the time informed me about a link between colitis and narcissism, and this has always intrigued me. I found this to be very interesting. That Miss Almost Laeticia was so full of herself that she couldn’t even make it to the bathroom to poop. What an unfortunate medical condition.

I was reading “Psychogenesis and Psychotherapy of Ulcerative Colitis” by J. Groen, MD, and this doctor points out the following that he observed in his patients suffering from this condition:

1.) Well developed intellect.
2.) Exaggerated carefulness and neatness. (I remember her being really anal about cleaning up after parties.)
3.) Sensitive, and sometimes oversensitive.
4.) Narcissism is always present, sometimes even under false modesty.
5.) Egocentric.
6.) Ambitious to a limited degree.
7.) Fearful and cowardly.
8.) “they gossip and complain about who they hate but do not fight them”
9.) Great need for love, sympathy, and affection.
10.) Exagerrated, infantile conception of love.
11.) Male cases had an abnormal affection for their mother
12.) At first these patients are difficult to talk to.

Look at number 8! It sounded like an an article written by someone who got badly burned by a person with colitis, much like this article I read about Borderline Personality Disorder. It was in Psychology Today. The doctor wrote about an affair he had with a BPD patient who just downed a charcoal shake after an overdose. It sounded very bitter and as if he was writing the article to spite her.

The colitis article was also written in 1947. I am interested in reading more recent case studies. While I know that all people who have colitis aren’t egomaniacal clean freaks, I would like to explore the other side of that — do people who are full of themselves have problems with their bowels?

I believe that it’s brief, but black and gold are making a comeback — together. And I’m not talking about coffee (my best friend Sarah told me that apparently certain people whose classification shall remain nameless like to use the term “black gold” in reference to coffee, but I will tell you that she read it on stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com ).

The other day, my boyfriend’s friend gave him his band’s latest tee. It says “One for the Team” in metallic gold iron-on letters smack dab in the middle of a black canvas of T-shirt. (Not made by American Apparel, unfortunately.) I made fun of him for a moment, until I saw a very similar shirt in Vice Magazine today.

Not that Vice is the fashion Bible for fashion heads. But they do have similar readers as the Nylon crowd, which I sort of am, and I am suspecting that we will see some black and gold blinging out by the sun in the summertime.

American Apparel makes a rare nylon tricot swim suit with gold lame (rhyme that with sashay, not shame!). I’m usually a fan of the bling on white, but maybe I will try the bling on black to match my man. Just put some (fake) bling on the baby and we’ll can go for a walk looking like fancy bumblebees!

It is now the time of the Eastern Conference Finals in NBA. This used to be a magnificent and fabulous time for me. I would design my work schedule around the play offs, and then go to the bars with nice TVs, beer, and a smoking section to scream and heckle at a screen. This is seriously something I would look forward to with a passion. The more people packed in a place cheering for the Pistons, the better.

Game 3, the Pistons had a home game today and they lost to the Celtics! They handed the Celtics their first away victory in awhile! How insanely SUCKY! I was so upset. I am an ultra die hard fan of the Pistons. No fair weather here, my friend.

This surprises a lot of people because of how rowdy I get even though I am all into fashion. I think that is an unfortunate stereotype! I remember when Carrie and Miranda went to an NBA game on Sex and the City… you know, the episode where Miranda first kisses Richard, played by Blair Underwood! They were too busy talking about how cute the players were. Well, yeah, but they can also ball, and I do have respect for that.

I even have great Pistons outfits, like red headbands, white boots, thigh high socks with red and blue stripes. Being a hot Pistons fan isn’t hard because all you have to do is rock the red and blue. I noticed that their headbands are blue now and I’m not a fan. I’m not sure why they changed it, but red has always had a better bang! At least it’s better than the aquamarine outfits they had a few years ago. Keep the primary colors goin’!

One thing I would love to do is talk to all the Pistons and ask them about their tattoos. NBA tattoos are awesome to me. I’ve actually thought about getting a horse tattoo to celebrate the Pistons, but I have the feeling that I would get my ass kicked for being corny. You know, horsepower.

My boyfriend and I are taking baby swimming classes with our son. It was an exciting prospect for us because we saw a video on youtube about a class parents were taking where they throw their babies around the pool and they can speed off swimming like little Olympic pros, I kid you not. Ambitious as we are, we signed up for class at the local YMCA and armed our babe with these awesome bright orange swim briefs a couple sizes too small for him so that the poop doesn’t escape from his drawers during swim time.

I’m not one to really adhere to any sort of fashion climate in the family pool. I actually have the black version of the swimsuit that’s on the new Moby album cover. That’s what I wear. Or I wear a halter bikini top and high waisted boy shorts. Very chic. I used to be really self-conscious about my body, but whatever, kiddie pool time isn’t the swimsuit competition. It’s about getting your kid to be able to breath underwater and float on his back.

Or is it? When we asked our instructor when we’d be able to let our son go in the pool, she looked at us in horror. Um, whoops. Dude, but if that’s the case, isn’t “swim class” a misnomer? I’ve read all about babies, and I’m pretty sure they’ve got the swim instinct in them up until a certain age. Give me the instructor who knows how to teach me about self-rescue and floating up!!! Seriously, watch that video.

For those of you who don’t know, the Sex and the City movie is debuting next weekend. I remember back when the series ended and they were supposed to do the movie back then, but instead they waited five years, which is genius. It makes it fresh and the women are now 40 and rockin’ it!

My favorite back then was Samantha, the sexy powerful diva. Now I love Carrie because she is the (formerly) broke writer living for fashon and writing! I can totally relate to that.

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting the mastermind behind the Sex and the City column, Candace Bushnell. She is by far one of the nicest and most accomodating authors I have met to date. I really admire her. Some authors, like Jhumpa Lahiri — who won The Prize for writing — was so monotonous and boring that it was a huge disappointment. Some writers are very aloof with their fans, which can be dangerous. But Candace was cool and funny.

At her signing, she walked up to the podium in her Prada heels. She talked about how she fell in love with writing when she was eight. She got the idea to support herself as a writer by being an actress. When she was young, a children’s story of hers got bought for a grand but was never published. She read Vogue at 8 thinking that her life would be better if only she could wear those clothes!

She told me she thinks it’s ridiculous that people have the opinion that women have to sacrifice style to have substance, there’s nothing wrong with caring about your appearance.

Eventually she wants to write a sci fi novel about a world without men.

When I asked her what she likes to wear when she writes, she said she lives in Plaid pajamas and LL bean early in the morning.

She still frequents NYC hotdogs stands during a hang over.

“When you decide to be a writer, you have to be a writer. You can’t be a lawyer and a writer. You have to prepare to be rejected over and over again til you wear them down, and when someone finally does give you a chance, you have to take that chance and do THE BEST.”

She mentioned we will never find out Mr. Big’s name, but as we know from the last episode, his name is John!

She said that it’s still really really hard for women to make it to the top.

She told us that Carrie’s wardrobe was inspired by her own fashion sense. She would buy the designer clothes at 80% off at the department stores, and “There’s a reason it’s 80% off. It’s the stuff no one would wear, but I would!”

She is inspired by Edith Wharton, Jane Austen. If someone tries to copy off of your work, it’s not going to have the same spirit, so she’s not worried about it.